Vol. 08 No. 8 Iss. 20

i really should be in bed at the moment...
but i am kind of restless...


its the beginning of my weekend... and I feel as though i should stay up like I usually do and try to make something of my day... see people... do laundry... go shopping... be a person that actually is awake during the day hours...

but werking the lovely fucking hours that I do... i must say that it kind of puts a kink in the daily life that i used to know...
everyone keeps saying... you'll get used to it... and i suppose i have... i manage not to be late... i just gave up more than i ever would in order to have a 40hr paycheck that comes with benefits..
but its more than sunlight that i get neglected from... but then its not just my job that seems to keep those who i consider good friends, and maybe once upon a time they did i, from me...

this might turn into a rant.. i forewarn...

i understand that thru life.. friends really do come and go... but this season of change seems to not be just a transition.. but more forced... coerced.. by others... funny thing is i told you it would happen and you told me it wouldnt... just note.. there still isnt a damn thing or person in this werld that would ever keep me from being your friend... i still consider you one.. that will never change even if we go some time without talking.. even as pissed as I am now or even then.. hell you call me... my issues would melt away... i hold grudges but not well...

recently many things have been really come into light.. the fish scales fell from my eyes... many things about me.. many things about those I surround my self with... such revelations are prob due to the whole sobriety thing... so i guess this thing i call a job... really has taught me more than how precious a weekend truly is...
i have learned who really have been friends to me... those who are still friends.. that many people are truly selfish... really fucking selfish.. i am too.. but i dont believe i would do the things i have seen/experienced... but hell.. such is life... right? what can we do but only move on?

and i shall.. but i might come back to the above topic... since that is really what is keeping me awake... i am losing patience with many people...

anyways.. nothing really new at all... i really just sleep all day... dread werk all night.. and hope that maybe something different will come along... though i might have to look for another job for that to happen... i miss weekends a lot.. A LOT.. i never liked werking weekends.. but always have.. but when you are werking over nights all weekend long... that means I get to do jack shit.. dont really try to do things before werk b.c of the greater dread i would have going into werk.. but i guess that is why i miss many people.. not many people can stay out all night on a week night with me...

sorry thought i would have many things to add other than my bitching about people... but i guess i really dont...
and if you would like to know if you are exempt from this... rant... fill in the blank below...

i have not seen rachelbrown any time recently because of enter person's name here

if you can fill in a name... specifically a name... your child's name(s) excluded... then you have been included...

so if you are up at 630am and would like to do breakfast... let me know...
if you would like to visit the dog park with me... let me know...
if you can afford to come out with me on a wed/thurs night... let me know...
cause that is about all i do..

otherwise... til the next time we cross paths...

bet you wished you didnt take the time this time...
my apologies..
rb