vol. 10 no. 04 iss. 09

yet again.. here i sit on my back porch in the same spot as my last blog...
this time with really not much to say... just needed a break from math logic and reasoning... figured.. might see what my fingers can get out of my head..

i have one more month of my first year at university... and i cannot wait for it to be over.. to then prob take summer skool to jump start my new major...

things i have found out recently... i no longer like math... well... i love the arithmetic aspect of math... and that is about it... so after thinking that i had what i wanted to do with the rest of my life set in my head when i moved here... i yet again have found myself really without direction having recently given up on math in sec ed.. so i figure i'd give accounting a try...

also in looking back.. i am kicking myself for having taken 4 years to come back to a college career... math is not like riding a bike.. you dont just remember it when you pick up a pencil... and hell i might even be able to blame the 4 years at ernies for destroying my memory... but i'd just like to blame being out of practice.... but i must also add that maybe math and i were not meant to be life long friends.. who knows if i had moved on like the perfect college student whether or not i would have chosen to give up on it then as well.. no way to tell now..

also in coming back 4 years later... being 25 and in level 200 even 300 classes.. i have joined the "returning to skool" group... the ones that are just older than majority of the class.. though i at least am not an obvious member... but when classmates are planning their 21st birthdays and are discussing how to score a case for the weekend... i just feel old... and when it finally comes out that i am 25... the surprise on people's faces is still a surprise to me... i guess i just look like im 21.. but then i still act 21 from time to time... such is life.. eh?

further... i still feel as though i am suppose to be where i am... the dog and i have settled in southern illinois pretty nicely... and what little feelings of being homesick that i experienced in the fall have almost completely vanished... unfortunately even with some really awesome times had back in aurora... i still have to coerce myself to go home.. the 4 hour drive can be a bit of a drag... then having something.. anything to do in aurora... i cannot just sit at my parents house like i can my own house here... there isnt a bar other than the full moon that i enjoy really going to... and thats only during the week.. not weekends... i must add that the last few times i have been home... i have not only made plans.. sometimes double booking myself.. but having things to do.. having people to see makes the 4 hours trip werth it... and has made me happy to have been home.. sadly... i still have many people whom i have not seen since i moved that i want to... but to make up for that.. i have seen people of which i have not seen in YEARS... hell some pre-Ernies era of my life... and sometimes i feel reluctant to come back to my home here... but when i do finally get in the car and make it to my home... i feel relieved to be here.. and not back there.. confirming my belief that i am meant to be here...

before i make it seem like southern illinois is perfect and im living in a nirvana.. i gotta add that im still too new to have any kind of feelings/history/baggage 25 years in one town can stack up... i really have no complaints about here other than the gigantic bugs... grasshoppers the size of half dollars... spiders too... then not as gross but still wtf... slugs 4-6 inches long... also.. with being so close to anheiser busch.. i would figure beer would be slightly cheaper.. not at all.. woodman's still the best prices.. other than that.. the people down here are quite nice.. we have found a ernies/mike'splace/fullmoon down here that we do enjoy and now kind of now all the bartenders and regulars... and we feel very welcomed by them.. so that is pretty awesome.. yay for people who like to drink as much as we do!!!

so anyways... skool can kinda suck... but lets see what next year brings... moving was a great idea! maybe soon i will love going back to aurora for a visit... and cheers for new faces and old faces!!!!

rb





i also have to admit being down a further south... im surrounded mostly by country... and am starting to really like it and collect it... save me? need suggestions other than country/western to listen to...